My wife Joy and I simply love binge watching. One of our favorite streaming shows the past couple of years is The Bear which stars Jeremy Allen White and Golden Globe winner Ayo Edebiri. Jeremy's character "Carmy" is a master chef who inherited a hole in the wall Italian Beef sandwich shop after his brother passed away. Carmy teams up with Edebiri's character Sydney and eventually they open The Bear which quickly becomes one of Chicago's top fine dining restaurants. One of the recurring themes of the show is captured on a sign that hangs under the kitchen clock "Every Second Counts." As we view the show watching the frantic activity in the kitchen of The Bear, we can understand the obvious meaning of the phrase and why it's posted prominently. It's a reminder to the team of the sense of urgency with which they must operate. Their hungry patrons can't wait around and there is just no time to waste. But as you follow the storylines within the show you realize that "Every Second Counts" has much deeper meaning than the obvious.
These past few years, including most recently, very close friends of mine have experienced two aspects of our wedding vows that no one is ever prepared to experience: "in sickness and in health", "till death do us part." The suddenness of these two situations and their resulting impact bring to life the reality that "Every Second Counts." When a husband and wife take the time to examine their union, they begin to make decisions on priorities and what really matters. In marriage just as in the frantic kitchen in The Bear there is just no time to waste. We celebrate our anniversaries, but most of us have not taken the time to calculate how many years (especially quality years) we will actually be together. On a very micro level, we also don't spend a lot of time thinking about how many waking hours we spend together each day. No matter how we measure our time together, number of years or number of hours in a day, we're all on limited time and "Every Second Counts." Let's look at 5 ways that we can stop wasting time and make every second count in our marriages.
Get Over The Small Stuff
In a marriage, couples often find themselves embroiled in arguments over trivial matters that ultimately hold little significance in the grand scheme of life. Whether it's a disagreement about where to eat or how to load the dishwasher, these small disputes can escalate into larger conflicts, consuming valuable time and energy. By choosing to let go of these minor irritations and focusing on what truly matters, couples can foster a more harmonious environment. Embracing a mindset of compromise and understanding, allows partners to prioritize their connection over fleeting disagreements, ensuring that they spend their time nurturing their relationship rather than squabbling over inconsequential issues.
Resolve Your Major Differences
Couples often waste precious time by allowing unresolved conflicts to linger, creating emotional distance and tension. When major issues are swept under the rug, they fester and can lead to resentment. Instead, working together to address these differences fosters understanding and strengthens the relationship. By openly discussing and resolving significant concerns, couples not only find common ground, but also build a deeper connection, ensuring that their time together is meaningful and fulfilling.
Remember Your Vows
For many couples, the moment they recite their vows at their wedding is the last time those words pass through their lips. Revisiting wedding vows can breathe new life into a marriage, reminding couples of the profound promises they made to one another. Often, the words spoken on that special day fade into memory but taking the time to reflect on those commitments can rekindle a sense of purpose, connection and urgency. This practice reinforces the importance of not wasting time and cherishing each moment together, highlighting that "Every Second Counts" in nurturing a loving and resilient partnership. Embracing those vows can inspire couples to prioritize their relationship and deepen their bond.
Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate!
Anniversaries, Birthdays, Promotions, Milestones, In marriage, it's essential for couples to celebrate all special moments, big or small. Every occasion deserves recognition. By actively embracing these moments, you reinforce the idea that "Every Second Counts." Don't wait for monumental events to celebrate; instead, cherish even the everyday experiences. This practice not only strengthens your relationship, but also creates lasting memories, ensuring that your time together is filled with joy and appreciation.
Make God The Center Of Your Marriage
"God never slumbers nor sleeps." In Psalm 121 David recognizes that God is watching over us every moment of every day. To truly embody the essence of God's omnipotent love in our marriages, we must prioritize making every moment count with our spouse. Just as God is ever-present and attentive in our lives, we should strive to reflect that same commitment in our relationships. By centering our marriage on faith, we cultivate an environment where love flourishes, reminding us that each second is a precious gift. Embracing this mindset helps us cherish our time together, deepening our bond and honoring the divine love that inspires us. In other words, with God "Every Second Counts" in our lives. If he did that for us, and if our marriage should reflect our relationship with God, shouldn't we make "Every Second Count" in our marriage?
Scripture tells us in Ecclesiastes that "no one knows when their hour will come" I might add and no one knows when their spouse's hour will come either. That's precisely why we have no time to waste. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19) Love your spouse every moment of every day. Get over the small stuff, resolve big differences, remember your vows, celebrate, and make God the center of your marriage. Use every opportunity you are given to make your spouse feel valued and loved. And always remember that "Every Second Counts."
Your Challenge
It brings me joy knowing that my friend who now finds himself in a new normal after the passing of his long time wife can look back at their marriage and say that they made every second count. So, here's your challenge. After finishing this article, take a moment to share it with your spouse. Once you've both had a chance to read and reflect, carve out dedicated time to have a meaningful conversation openly discussing at least three actionable ways you can enhance the quality of your time together. Then pray together asking God to honor your efforts to embrace every moment in your relationship. Remember, be intentional and make a commitment. Don't let this opportunity pass, because "Every Second Counts!"